In shed my tears in silence

I shed them in pain

I shed them for the pride I lost

I shed them in vain

No angels came to wipe my tears

And the tears kept coming back

No angels came to talk to me

But the tears never turned their back

The world left me behind

Ran farther in the race

Even people who showed up after me

Showed only once their face

I died a thousand deaths that day

And grew a million years old

Yet not a trickle of sense came to me

Nor did I become bold

I walked in the dust, the dawn, the dusk

I thought I was followed by friends

Yet walked not they fore or aft

Not with or past or near the farthest ends

I called myself the Lucky One

For I had many a friend

Yet when I tried to choose a special one

Not one was left with me at end

Neither time nor tide stood by me

Yet I cared not at all

But surprised I was when not even my near ones

Stood when I took my fall

I thought I was special

I thought I was gifted

But when I saw that everyone was normal

I knew I was no more than a misfit

I proudly flowed along the tide

Thinking I had found the right way

But had I flowed against the rush

I would be someone else today

I envy my that other self

Loathe him yes I do

For he would have had his way always

And I can only want to

But afraid I am

For when I went

Against the beaten path

They told me I had broken those rules I knew I had only bent

I thought myself to be a fool

To not listen to others

Yet so much did I listen to them

That no one no more bothers

I don’t know if I’m a loser

Or just a lazy bum

But I do know I did what they said

Yet I’m still not their chum

I’m lost

For I followed them

When I was to make my own

And now I stand w/o a friend, it’s now either me or them

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